Notes of the Inner-Self:
Blog-Posts of everything from reviews and opinions to observations and stream of consciousness.
I’m having issues getting past a writing funk. Everything was going good, and going strong – and it felt really good, and then it all just hit a brick wall.
I’m not quite sure what to do to get the muses going again.
Should I just not worry about taking an extended break from it ?
Should I do more research to try to jump it back into action ?
Should I read some to get my head away from it, but still stay in a fantasy-mindset. ?
SO.
I’ve finally started reading Game of Thrones. Yes yes, I know, I hear you. I’ve been a bit busy, ok?
But anyhoo – Yes, I’ve finally started legitimately reading it….and….
I’m not really liking it so far :/
I haven’t gotten far enough in to really have any say-so over the story or plot line itself…..but the writing??
not my favorite writing.
I get irritated at the overly abundant “he said”
“she said” "said so-n-so insert adjective" “So-n-so said” after.
every.
single.
god damn.
line.
DUDE. if you have to repeatedly tell me 20 times who said what when you only have SO many people talking…….somethings wrong. -OR- when you have to REPEATEDLY tell me who said what when to whom because you have THAT many people talking at once – maybe you just shouldn’t have so many people talking at one time?? Or maybe you should set up your scenes better so we can tell who would be saying what when without having to blatantly spell it out like a first-grade picture book so many god damn times.
This is incredibly frustrating, and it’s really disappointing because I have enjoyed the show so much – and I really *want* to like it.
Plus, everyone, e v e r y o n e told me ‘oh, if you like crown of stars, you should read a song of ice and fire – you’ll love it!’ really got me way too psyched up for this, because holy shit – *I LOVE CROWN OF STARS*
so I was all ready to be sucked into another plethora-long series of epic fantasy awesomeness.
On a side note though, it makes me feel a lot better about my own writing, because I don’t feel so different, or so inexperienced or like what I’m writing is actually so horrible ;p
I’m going to keep on going and see if the writing style eases up enough for me to actually get into it. I would hate not being able to get into a good story just because of some writing quirks
I’ve read a whole lot the past couple days all about the turmoil that is hitting the pagan community.
I don’t know, maybe I am just way too disconnected from the ‘pagan community’ as a whole. – Something I do not like to refer to anyway, as I don’t believe there is one so called, all encompassing pagan community, because there are just way too man pagans to umbrella into one fucking community – but whatever.
Especially when ‘pagan community’ really means wiccan community – or vague pagan beliefs that are wicca-related.
BUT. that is not my rant for the day. Today’s rant is about the tragedy of Kenny Klein.
I’ll be honest – I had to google who the hell he even was. Which is pretty sad, because for such a pronounced member of the community – so everyone is saying – I should have at least heard of him before now. I hadn’t. Not even through HuffPost, which I read……way too much. Still, have -never- heard of him.
My question is. WHY. Why is this a tragedy to the pagan community? Why does this have to involve the pagan community at all? A sick man was arrested, a sick man was arrested who also happened to be a photographer- which his hobby / indy career as a photographer was far more relevant to the arrest than his pagan association. So why, at the most, was it not a tragedy to the photography community if anything ?? Or why not to the Huff? OR Llewellyn?? Why does it have to be a pagan issue? anything could have made sense, but that’s not what everyone is going on and on about. Nope. It’s alllllll about how he’s a pagan. And then the explosive back-lash of “how to be safe in the community”. Article after article detailing predators in pagan circles or covens, and how to protect yourself.
WHY
dear gods above why.
what the fuck.
Why does it have to be specifically categorized out as a special threat to the pagan community? Why is it an ‘extra’ precaution being taken to pagans? Everyone blasting that boundaries are important and that abuse is not ok no matter where the setting – if that is true, then why do we need to come outright and say that blatantly? If abuse is not ok, then we shouldn’t have to tell people that it’s not ok.
Why can it not simply be “there are fucked up people out there – be careful no matter where you are”
There could be a predator at your child’s school. There could be one living down the street form you. There could be one at the grocery store, at the mall, on the fucking bus. ANYWHERE. Why do we have to target ourselves as being singled out? This is NOT an issue of the pagan community, this is an issue no matter what your creed, religion, practices, background, what have you.
There have been dozens of serial killers, serial rapists, pedophiles and then some of all sorts of creeds – Especially christianity (just by statistical basis that christianity is still a majority) so every time one of these things happens is there an outcry in the christian society about the travesty that has affected their community??? No. Why? because people don’t view it as a “christian” issue that one person is demented. It’s a simple cut-and-dry issue of X man is fucking demented, end of story. So why is it different for us? why does this have to be turned into a pagan issue?
It is not.
There was a person, who had a hidden life, who turned out to have some serious mental issues. Who, on a side note, also happened to be pagan…..That is where it stops.
You are only making us look worse by turning it into an issue that it does not have to be.
If someone robs a store, are we going to turn to the fact that “gang violence” has become a community issue? No. You are purposely and unnecessarily associating yourself with something horrid. You keep on making a huge deal out of it, or making a point to raise awareness, then people WILL start to believe that this is something that is prevalent in our society, or stems from our beliefs, or that somewhere in some circle this is condoned.
Stop it.
So. I get distracted easily, so I have been trying to make a conscious effort lately to stay away from these websites. Save for random lil bursts of spamming articles and memes on facebook – typically through my phone as of late, as I hate that stupid app that never cooperates no matter how many times it updates, so it helps to keep my FB brain oozage to a minimum. SO. because of that, I have not been able to rant about my current goings-on.
1-Work progresses awesomely, if not tediously. But such is the nature of the beast.
2-dude. Oak Island. is my new history channel obsession. Too bad last night was the last episode of the season, because dammit.
3-I think i’m going to micro-bake these potatoes because I just realized how badly i want to eat them since they’re sitting right in front of my face now.
4-Star child ancient aliens. (IE the one that aired just his past friday).
I have a deep and complicated love-hate relationship with Ancient Aliens. I fucking love this show. I fucking love it. But I hate just about everything they have to say, because it’s such backwards, hog-washed bullshit to me. And duh, yes, I get it – it’s an absolute biased show, so of course you’re going to get only one side of the story. But sometimes I just want to throw shit at the tv screen and de-pouf Giorgios hair, and crush David Childress’s trachea to the point where he can no longer pronounce “i” and “o” as the same glottal / uvular / nasal phonetic whatthefuckever invention of his.
If the concept of ALIENS is such a dumbfoundedly simple and rational explanation to these people, then why the fuck is the concept of gods or deferentiated genetics so laughable ? I don’t understand. To me, it’s all a matter of semantics. Extraterrestrial litterally means not of this earth. wtf is a god/deity/angel etc. etc. etc.? An ‘otherworldly being’ which also, literally, means = not of this earth. Potayto – Potahto. Your talking about the same god damn thing. So why must you be so smug and condescending about Gods ?
AND AND AND.
OK. here’s my thing. I do not believe humans are made up of one species. I do not. I never, ever have. Logic just begs to differ with the idea that as humans, we are all the exact same species. I think the concept of race and genetics goes a lot deeper than just making up skin colour, eye colour, hair type and bone structure. There’s significance to the fact that different races have different genetic codes, different genetic codes have different dna strands. And the last time I checked, according to science and genetics, different genes and dna strands = different species. But for some reason that same logic doesn’t apply to humans? I never bought it. Now, I’m buying the fact we’re all in the same genus. That’s more difficult to dispute, but I don’t buy we’re all the same species. If this were the case, I can’t logically wrap my brain around why certain races are prone to certain ailments more so than others, or why certain diseases *only* affect a specific race, and not others, or why people of a certain race are more aptly built for speed, or sight, or intuitivity etc etc etc the list goes on and on and on. Not to mention, they *know* different types of ‘humans’ did exist, and existed together, or at least at overlapping times. And more recently they discovered, that they didn’t just die-out like previously thought, but that there is evidence to show that they probably interbred with each other. Creating yet a knew species, cross bred between other existing ones. So, why, now, to we think we’re immune to such truths? I don’t. I don’t think so at all. This is one reason I never believed in the ‘genetic eve’ discussion, or the out of africa theory (that was largely pushed because of the genetic eve). I just don’t. I think there are a lot of different origin points, from different species of hominid, that have built a woven fabric of humans today.
This is where we get back to the Star-child episode here : Because to me, all these discoveries or theories of “Star-Children” don’t immediately scream. omg, ALIENS!!!! to me. They stand out, to me, as proof of something that I have been suspecting for a long time – and the more and more they dig up, the more and more it just feels like “seeee, told ya..” And I’m sorry, don’t they always say “The simpliest answer is usually the correct one” They idea of natural, gradual evolution and cross-breed seems like a far more logical, and simpler, explanation than Aliens secretly abducting and inseminating our women, to produce prodigies on a incoherent mission to better humanity through their otherworldly gifts, and then covering the whole thing up in future-CIA-spy fashion to…what ? Watch and see what we do? This theory concludes one of two things : 1 – they legitimately want to help us or 2 – we’re just a science experiment. If 1 were true, I feel like there’s a lot more they could do then send down half-breed rape babies to both help us, and build their point. and if 2 were true, well in all honestly that is the more likely scenario, but I just refuse to believe my purpose here in this universe is all for naught than some Alien statistics. Sorry, that is a really morbid, cryptic and pathetic way to look at your life, and I cannot believe that – on top of which just comes that gut instinct of ‘bullshit’ that makes me scoff real pompously. And, as previously discussed, I tend to go with my gut instinct on things. It has yet to lead me wrong
.
.
So. YUP. That’s what’s been up with me lately.
have fun!
I know pretty much everything there is to know about my story. Of course, duh – it’s my story. I’m the creator, I’m the writer, I’m the inventor of this world……but it’s not quite so simple.
It’s a much bigger issue when you’re creating a world based around, or inspired by things that already exist in this world today, or in literature and mythology. Generally speaking – my story is *inspired by* not *based on*. Which is a big, big difference, so I can pretty much go where I want to take it and be done with it. Because inspiration in nifty like that – you take one idea that sparks another idea and just run with it, rather than trying to retell something that’s been told a hundred times. But, that being said – it is important to me to keep some things true – or, well…as true as they can truthfully be.
which in the celtic legends…….is. really. fucking. hard.
x_x
really hard.
there’s about a thousand different versions of -every- tale out there. And even more *interpretations* for each one of those versions. Theres endless debates of who’s really who – if so n so is the same person as other so n so, or if they just HAPPEN to have the same name and lived around the same time (which sounds stupid, sure, but then tell me how many “Tom"s you think there are out there? Yea. Point made. They’re probably not all talking about the same person) But for whatever reason X individual is a fact nazi and assumes everything ever mentioned about so n so HAS to be the same person (why? how does this make any logical sense?) then Y individual is a history nazi who thinks – If this is what is says, then this is what it HAS to be! even though said literature wasnt written til centuries upon centuries after so n so supposedly lived…..so how do we have any idea if this "history” is accurate? What if they just made shit up as they went along? Or what happens if something is so blatantly off it doesn’t make any slack bit o sense?
Nope.
There’s no reasoning with any -one- of these types of people. None of them.
SOOOOO.
Here’s my summary: I have read ungodly amounts of information about everything of everything there is to do with Celtic Ireland. I have read the sssaaaaammmmmeeeeeee stories ungodly amounts of times …..with them being different every single one of those times. And let me say one thing to you – – no one agrees with each other. No one. Way more than half of those stories don’t make a shit bit of sense. So i have taken everything that I’ve read – and followed my gut, of what *I* feel, in my own opinion, my *heart* and *instincts* and *soul*….and common sense …. tells me makes sense, and what feels right. What feels true. Human kind has been taught to rely too much on technology and science, and reason, and analytic judgement and have totally forgotten we do, indeed, have instincts, and intuition. And we have them for a reason, and really – more often than not – if we just shut up and listen to them, they;re usually almost always right.
So that is what I did.
And that is what I’m using to base my stories around.
And I’m standing by that. End. Of. Story.
So everyone else who likes to have their own opinion of shit – congratulations! You have every right.
And so do I. 🙂
So go suck a nut somewhere, I don’t care.
<3
Today’s rant stems from an Article I read about a group trying to push for women’s right to go topless in certain particular situations (IE at the beach, working out, hot summer days etc) just as men have the right to do.
OK. I’m not going to get into exactly why I think this is absolutely retarded, and is nothing more than a bunch of emo dick-haters deciding to get angry about something simply for the fact of having something to be angry about….
Today’s rant is solely on the generalized fact of feminism as a whole.
and how I absolutely, by any means, at all a Feminist.
How could you possibly say that?
Well, because look at them….They’re fighting for “women’s rights”, all the while giving women an absolutely shitty name.
Women are cunts, women are never satisfied, all women are secretly lesbians, women are man-bashers, women are man-haters, the list continues on and on and on……and I have heard every single one of these, and more, in my own personal experience.
Truthfully, most of them – on the regular – by my own husband (certainly not limited to him though)
How do I never ever get angry ?
Because He’s kinda got a point.
Feminists are cunts. Righteous Cunts, and frankly, I care not to be associated with them because I think I’m a pretty damn awesome woman, who is only a cunt when provoked to be one, am very easily satisfied, is not a lesbian at all (even in secret) and am sick and damn tired of being accused of one simply because I have a vagina and have friends who also have vaginas, and also sick and damn tired of lesbians claiming they can “turn me” Naw, bitch, ya can’t because I like dick, and balls, and testosterone, and body hair, and you don’t have all of that ~naturally~ anyhow. Just, no. And, I also to happen to NOT hate men. At all. In the Slightest. I happen to love men, and do not agree with the hateful anti-male propaganda that feminists like to wave around everywhere. You want to bitch about sexism?? Now you’re contributing to it, ya cunt ass hypcrocrites!!
Which bring’s me around to my next point, of which I have covered previously in such rantings :
I don’t like hypocrites.
I don’t like extremists.
Feminists are *both*.
And that brings me around to my last real point I have to make on this. Feminism is defined as : "collection of movements and ideologies aimed at defining, establishing, and defending equal political, economic, and social rights for women.“
So, really – I guess, to me, feminism is sheerly irrelevant in my entire life, because I have absolute no use or need to ‘define, stablish or defend” any part of my rights because I have never. -EVER- in my entire exsistence up to this point have EVER been deprived of such rights.
Ever.
I don’t know where all you people live, maybe you just need to move somewhere else. Or maybe you just need to find a job that isn’t run by sexists. Or stop putting yourselves in situations where you have to associate with such people. I don’t know – I really have no understanding of this concept, because I have never lived in a world with this such prejudice.
I have been a victim of a lot in life dealing with religion, culture, class, race. . . never gender. Ever.
I am also bred from a culture that does not understand such concepts.At all.
Celts had queens, women warriors, goddesses, chiefs, warlords, messengers, poets, landholders, etc. etc. etc.
Women ruled and went off to war and were as reckless as men.
Men stayed home and tended to domestic life, and were as homely as women were.
There were no such things as “gender roles” in their life style. Likewise, there were no set, rigid defined laws of class. Anyone – absolutely ANYONE could rise from any stations. Slaves could be freed of their bonds and become common civilians. Said civilians could rise to become masters as their accomplishments were recognized, masters could rise to become noblemen, and one could rise to become king, even, because to the Celts, they could *elect* their king. Yes, an heir was named – but if someone objected, they could nominate someone else, and then those who opposed could also rise to challenge such nominees and then the people of a tuathe could *choose* their king from such challengers /nominees. Also, they has regular counsels.
And to be fair, the same rules applied to the upper class. ANYONE could fall from their station, and have to start all over again. But they were not utterly damned for it without any chance of redemption. They simply had to start fresh, again, and *earn* their place.
And this was all done in an “uncivilized” time by a bunch of “barbarians”….right.
There is an awful lot of honour, valor, dignity, respect – etc etc etc that comes with the making of a true Celt. This is the culture I am sprung from, this is my blood, these are the type of people I have come to know and associate with. This type of culture and environment breeds strength, confidence, respect and wisdom.
And when you have that combination, it’s undeniable. It commands respect…not *demands* it. So, perhaps that is why I just don’t understand. Because I am a woman who will always have respect. Just because, I am that type of woman.
Maybe you need to look at yourself, honestly and harshly, and figure out what it is about *you* that makes *you* incapable of getting what you want, instead of pointing the finger to others.
So you have fun, little girls, with your picket lines and protest posters and all your incessant bitching and whining and griping….with practically no results. Because perhaps the problem isn’t the world around you, perhaps it is *the world you have created for yourself.*
Editing.
fucking.
sucks.
I love, love, love, love writing.
LOVE IT. I am at the heart of me – a storyteller. Point blank. People have always identified me as an artist (which is true!) because that’s the obvious answer : She likes to draw, she likes to create, she’s an artist!
But that’s not the truth. I do draw, and create. And I’m pretty damn good at it, and I rather enjoy it…..but that is means to an end. I draw, because it’s an easy, straight forward way to convey what’s in my head.
I tried freelancing, and I wanted to shoot myself in the foot. Or stab that damn pencil right through my eye. Or hand….because at least that meant I had a legit reason to NOT do this horrid ass piece that I utterly hate…..oh, no, wait. I’ve already been paid….and that money already spent. so there IS NO BACKING OUT,
It was a prison. A horrible, bleak, tormenting prison full of horrid ideology and bad taste…..I kept on thinking to myself : shouldn’t this be the ultimate dream? Getting *paid* to do what you love ? Making a living (sorta) doing art?? Then it turned into guilt because If I was a *real* artist, shouldn’t I love doing art no matter what??
And maybe for many people that’s true, and for many other legit artists it’s not true, and everything in between. But those questions made me stop and think. And then I realized : No. I’m not an artist. I’m a storyteller.
It didn’t matter WHAT on earth I was writing about, I could get lost in it. I could get stuck in it. I could research for hours, and just clack away for hours and lose track of time completely, and come out with something in the end that was compelling, and impressive, and made people think, and made me shine and gleam and giddy with pride.
It didn’t matter WHAT it was. I loved it. I loved it. I loved it….
*that* is what I could do, no matter what, and be happy. That is what made me so happy about my art : it was *my* art. I loved drawing for *me* not for other people, because what I drew was still a story – it was just a visual story. It was still compelling, and emotional, they were characters – they were worlds – they were artifacts and relics of a vision of a feeling of a time, and they drew a breath and life of their own…..because they were a story. Someone’s disgusting idea for a logo is not a story. It could be. But it never was, because clients are retarded horrible things that have no idea what they want, except for the fact that it will be uninspired, uncreative, wretched bad taste and chock full of cliche and cliche after cliche. Which is hard to turn it into a story. Even though it *should* be a story : it should be their story, of their venture. But…nope….
That’s what killed it. And then I realized – I could never, ever, do that…ever again. That was the wrong plan. That was the wrong goal. That’s why I was so miserable, that’s why I could never make any money, because I avoided commissions like the plague. I would never search them out – I would wait for them to come to me. Which was enough to scrape by….but I wasn’t *active* in that path. I just sat and waited, and cringed when something came along, and trudged through it just because I knew we had bills to pay.
That is horrid. That is miserable. Don’t ever – EVER do that!
So I stopped, and I started focussing 100% back on my writing again…….which I had taken a long break from to try to ‘pay the bills’ just making myself miserable. I quit my job. Got a new, regular “day job” with regular hours, and regular pay – nothing thrilling or exciting, but nothing horrible or miserable. I like it, I enjoy it, I have freedom with it. Which meant I could focus on *my* stuff too, and still have time with the family. Things moved along slowly, but surely – as they still are now. And life. is. so. happy.
I bitch a lot. I complain a lot. I’m a rambler, and a venter, and a ….well, a story teller! So I have a lot of nothing to say – a lot. All the time.
But truth be told : life is fucking awesome. I am lucky. I haven’t hit it big, so to speak, but that’s alright. I’m making it – *and* i get to do what i love, and if I just keep at then, then I know I will ‘hit it big’ whatever my big may be, and it’ll all be worth it.
And that’s the beautiful dream, the awesome inspirational soul searching that everyone hopes for when they pack up and move out to the big city, or graduate college, or whatever your milestone is.
…..but they don’t tell you about fucking editing.
Sure, they do. But not what you think. I mean, of course – everyone *knows* you that editing and revisions come with the job. That’s par for the course…..but no one actually tells you: You’re gonna wanna shoot yourself in the foot. Or stab yourself in the eye. Or the hand, because then you’d have a legit excuse as to why you cant type. Oh, no but wait! They have that stupid Dragon program now, so you don’t have a reason to need your hand….
So much procrastination. So much lack of motivation, but it’s absolutely horrible. But, strangely – even though it’s all the exact same things I hated about freelance arting…..my soul isn’t dying every time I do it. It’s a different type of hate, it’s a different type of misery. It’s turned into from just pure torture, to a labor of love.
But god damn it. I fucking hate it. I get so excited about my story – I get so thrilled, and giddy like a lil child when Things develop a certain way that I didn’t necessarily see coming – it just all fell into place. Its unbelievable when that happens! And the world is awesome, and life is awesome and everything is Awesome!!!
……oh. No. Wait……..i don’t get to continue on just yet, because I have to get through THIS shit first.
uuuuhhhhhhgggggggggg.
Or maybe I’d like to draw and illustration to the book today, omg, that scene when this happened would be so epic!
….oh. No. Wait…….I can’t do that, because I have to finish THIS shit before I take a break.
uuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhggggggggggggggggg.
Plus, throw in there the fact that 1 – I’m dyslexic and 2 – cant spell for shit. I don’t even know if I’m doing it right! wtf is that word? What did I mean to say there? Do I even know how to spell that? I don’t know how to spell that…..but it’s so wrong that Google doesn’t even have a suggestion. Wtf is that? What did I do ??
And that’s just one line. Also, because I’m lucky to type really…..really….fast. My dyslexic brain can’t keep up, so sometimes I skip entire sentences….entire lines….sometimes whole thoughts in paragraphs because everything gets jumbled and my brain literally cant keep up with my hands so it just skips forward to where it thinks it needs to be. And that also means on the other hand, my hands type so fucking fast that they just basically transcribe every second of random thought that flies through my brain. So sometimes I just jump off on a tangent somewhere, and I have no idea what point I was trying to get across because I just…skipped past it onto a totally different thought.
what??
What is that? where did it come from?
Where did that other thing go? Oh, no clue? Me neither…
And I pretty much have to start that all over because I don’t even know what I was trying to do there. And then I get confused, and then I lose my mojo, and then I get un-excited, and then I end up wanting netflix instead of this crap, and then I end up procrastinating this crap while thinking very hard about that movie I’ve been waiting to watch for three weeks, and then I have to go pee, and then when I come back I decide it’s an awesome time for a snack, and then I need something to veg too while I snack, so then I turn on the tv and
HOLY FUCK. I’m late picking up Sky.
Where’d the day go ??
and then there goes all my productivity time for the day….and then my brain just kind goes
“….meh…” *shrugs* because I didn’t *really* wanna do that anyway, so no biggie.
But then later when you open up your file and realize that nothing has changed in 2 weeks, you hate yourself. You utterly hate yourself,
I’m such a lazy bitch, what the fuck am I doing with my life, nothing will ever happen if I don’t make it happen – beat yourself up, bully-coach break down motivational crap, get psyched up, I’m gonna do this – no matter what, I’m just gonna tough it out and do it!
*open up file*
……..uuuhhhhhhhhhhgggggg.
Ooo. There’s a House marathon on….
PS. I’m very excited that ‘i hate editing’ is such a popular tag, that all I had to type in was ‘i h’.
Yes.
I don’t like extremists.
Of anything.
Point blank.
Doesn’t matter if I actually *agree* with what you’re standing for……..as soon as you cross that line. Done. Because I do not like extremists. Extremists take EVERYTHING way too far, way out of context, and 9 times out of 10 completely undermine their entire point and cause by their extremity. Which then turns them into complete hypocrites. Which brings me my next 2 points.
I do not like hypocrites.
I do -not- believe the end justifies the means.
The end has become a moot point if you go against everything you stand for just to get there. Not only does that further the two points above, but it’s also just plain retarded.
Point 4. I do not like stupid people.
Now that I’ve gotten the platform set, time for my *real* point:
I believe in equality. For everyone. No exceptions. End. Of. Story.
Believing in that, whole heartedly, means something different than what people first think. This means, regardless of your own personal belief of one specific thing or another, that you believe everyone shares the same respect: Including those you do not agree with.
You follow that?
Including those you do not agree with.
This means, I play Devil’s Adovocate a lot. Because I believe, whole heartedly, in equality. For everyone. No exceptions.
Including the people I do not agree with. Because they are not somehow exempt from that rule, just because they have an opinion that varies from my own.
This gets me in a lot of trouble sometimes, because I have discovered it is *extremely* hard for people to separate the concepts of *support* and *approval*.
You can support someone and not agree with them.
You can love some one, and not agree with them.
You can love some one, and not love their *actions*.
The list could go on and on and on. And some people understand that. Some people will read that and a light bulb will click and know instantly where I’m about to go with this. Others may read that and think they understand, but don’t, at all. Others may read that and think they get it, or understand it theoretically, and just cannot execute that theory or understanding in day to day life. It’s fine, no ones perfect, but let me explain to you what that actually means:
You do not get to infringe on someone else’s rights, for the sake of your own.
You do not get to judge others for their beliefs, but then demand not to be judged for your own.
This applies to many different aspects of life that happens all. the. time. But what has triggered it today: Duck Dynasty. Stop reading now if you don’t want to hear it – you know who you are. If I have triggered your curiosity, or riled up your fight mode as either is possible. Go for it, but do not blame me afterwards. I will not blame you ;P.
This is where the extremists come in.
I believe in EQUALITY. FOR EVERYONE. I will never, ever, say otherwise, or believe otherwise, or act otherwise.
But I do NOT support the LGBT org or GLAAD. Now stop, right there for one second. Let me make this perfectly clear before it gets contorted otherwise : I am not against lesbians, or gays, or bisexuals, or transgenders…or asexuals, or transvestites, or drag queens, or mosaics, hermaphrodites, duals or chemerics or anything else in between for that matter. I’m talking about the specific organizations, and specifically the extreme members of said organizations only. But Why on earth you just gasped outloud. They stand for everything that is the physical representation of equality!!
No. They don’t. That is what they say their focus is, but every last bit of their actions say the complete opposite. They are extremists. And everything they do is filled with hate, prejudice and judgemental, bitter, spiteful vengeance and it launched at any slightest person who happens to be of a different mindframe than them.
That.
Is.
Not.
OK.
Not even when you’ve been hurt. I understand you’re hurt. I understand it’s not fair. I understand all the hate, and prejudice, and judgement, and spite, and bitterness that has been launched at you. I understand why you would feel the same way. I’ve been there too – for different reasons – but I have absolutely been there too. That does not mean you get to do the same thing to other people. You, out of everyone opposing you, should understand EXACTLY how that feels and just WHY –NO ONE- should do that to any other person.
Does no one on earth remember “two wrongs don’t make a right” ?
Anyone? Am I all that’s left??
Just because someone doesn’t support your lifestyle does not mean they are out-right attacking you. Just because someones faith has taught them not to condone something you happen to believe in, or support, does not mean they have done something hateful or hurtful.Just because they do not agree, or do not support you or your lifestyle also does not mean they are discriminating against you. It means they disagree. Opposition does not immediately equal discrimination. People in this world believe different things. It’s the beauty of life. And guess what that means? It means you do not have to agree with them either. But that does not mean attacking or slandering them just because you happen to disagree.
That also does not mean cutting everyone out of your life that may or may not agree with them, or you.
What are you going to end up with….what are you going to do with life if you exclude anyone who does not agree with everything you do, or happens to just not jump to arms to the same things you do?
For all the open-minded modernizing everyone likes to preach about – that’s an incredibly closed-minded way of living.
Let me clear some things up.
I read the original article. I read – in context – what was said.
He did not compare homosexuals or homosexuality to bestiality or equate homosexuality to being promiscuous.
He happened to list homosexuality as one of the things he considered sinful.
he *also* listed the others things as *also* being sinful.
He did not equate anyone of them to each other.
They just all happened to be compiled as things he considered sinful.
He did not say homosexuality is the same as bestiality. As, literally, dozens of articles will lead you to believe.
He did not say homosexuals are promiscuous, or that homosexuality is the same as being promiscuous, as- again – literally dozens of articles will lead you to believe.
That is just what you wanted to hear. And so you did. And now you are flaming him for things he never even said.
That makes you just as wrong.
End of story.
to clear the air too : chik-fil-a & salvation army ALSO does not hate gays, nor do they refuse service to gays. I have, first hand, witnessed proof of the exact opposite.
The one thing they ALL *did* happen to say is that they believe in traditional marriage, and do not support a homosexual lifestyle.
As does the astounding majority of all Christians, Jews and Muslims.
that does NOT mean they are effectively, or directly, hurting anyone, forcing anything upon anyone, discriminating against anyone, hate-mongering or otherwise. that does not mean that *none* of them are doing these things….I mean….there are the Westboro people. So, of course there are those horrible, evil people in the world, but those people exist in ALL beliefs and faiths and cultures. And just because someone does not agree with you, or something you do, or something you believe in does NOT mean they are one of those evil people.
It means they don’t agree with you.
If you act on otherwise, it means you are one of those evil people. Because now you are continuing the cycle of hate in the exact same manner that you *claim* to be against.
This was the subject of today’s rant – but these same principles apply to race, religion, class, politics and even something as stupid as sports teams.
Stop it already. Learn how to coexist and stop pointing the finger at everyone, or being hyper-sensitive to EVERYTHING tiny ass little thing, and accept that there are going to be differences in life, and face the simple and easiest facts that we all just need to hate Westboro Baptist together in Unison, and blame them for everything……because it’s probably true.
That is a completely constructive way to channel all your emotions.
In the olde faiths, the Irish Celts (and much of their brethren) would light candles and lanterns and hang them in the trees to illuminate their path and spirits through the Dregs of Winter – the 12 darkest days of the year leading up to the Winter Solstice – And in memoriam, as a Vigil, to the spirits of the Earth that dwindled and died in the bleak Winter Months.
The Solstice itself culminated the Dregs of Winter, and was celebrated not only because it marked their end, but also the return of the Light beginning the waxing of daylight hours towards the Summer Solstice.
Because of this, the Solstice was celebrated with many rites, rituals, feasts and celebrations. They would light all the previous candles and lanterns lit through the dregs, in honour of the returning light – and would garland the trees with sweet treats, heady foods, and lush offerings to the Gods to bless them for the upcoming year, and to ensure the return of light, life, fertility to the lands and abundant harvests for the growing seasons that laid ahead, and the rebirth of the Land and Earth that had been slumbering through the season.
They would do this as they believed the spirits of the Earth and the Gods lived in the Trees, and by placing the blessings and offerings in the trees, they would be handed directly to the Gods and Spirits of the Earth themselves.
As time went by, and the New Faith spread across the lands, and crossed the Sea to the Isles, the faiths became mingled. As the Celts did not fear or resent change as many people do – they accepted it, and honoured it. They were very easily converted to the New Faith because of this acceptance to change, and their easy and willing natures to grow and evolve as Time and Earth ever does – but because they were also a people of great respect, pride and integrity – They never, completely, let go of their olde ways or beliefs, and continued to observe certain sacred traditions and rituals, integrating them together with their new Faith, growing and evolving them both into something new – something unified together. Just as is their nature, until eventually we forgot about the Yule tides of the Northmen and their relative Tribes, or the Festival of Lights of the Gauls and Galacians, or the Midwinter rites of the insular tribes of Celts, from Goidelic, Manx, Picts and Brythons.
Until these were all blended together with the new reigning faith, and as their empire grew they adopted it and defined it as their own, and slowly over years and years of exaggeration with new tradition built ontop of new tradition it has grown into modern times – but nonetheless, we are all each tied to our distant past in a least expected way.
Each time you decorate your christmas tree.
This is the time of year I get most offended…..by everyone….from all sides. And it seems to be coming full-force, a hell of a lot early this year (or at least, a more steady – constant stream of it this year)
Before I go on, I feel like I need to explain some things so I don’t sound like a complete ass, although it’s inevitable.
I am a pagan. I’m not your run-o-the-mill umbrella term pagan, I am a very educated, self-aware, specific type of pagan.
I am an Irish Celt (the pre-christian kind celt that is). I consider myself a traditionalist, in truth and sincere honesty. No – I am absolutely NOT a witch, and nothing related to. No – I am absolutely NOT a wiccan, and nothing whatsoever related to. No, I am not a Druid, because a druid is much more than just a believer. I am exactly what I said I am, and nothing different than that. And no, this is not open to your personal interpretation of semantics.
Why am I so specific about what *exact* type of pagan I am, and why do I follow a traditional path?
Because I am a pagan who hates pagans.
In the sense that – I hate *neo* pagans, modern pagans, and the hodge-podge crap that has spewn forth from their ignorant creations.
I am sick to death of giant umbrealla Pagan “denominations”, organizations or “covens” that think that if you happen to not be a christian, or happen to be some type of animist, or happen to believe in magick, that somehow that means you’re automatically a “pagan” and that somehow that means all pagans are the same, and interchangeable, and that ALSO means it’s synonimous with the words “wiccan” and “witch”.
I hate them for the same reason I hate these Decaturite busy bodies and moms. You’ll only get that if you live in Atlanta……..but if you live in Atlanta, and have ever made an expedition to Decatur and Buckhead to observe the horrible upper-middle class monstrousity of women (and sometimes men, but sadly mostly the women) then you know *exactly* what that means.
I hate ignorance, stupidity, lies and self-righteousness, no matter what form it comes in or from whom. I just. hate. them.
Unfortunately, it’s been a growing trend -as far as I’ve been witnessing – over the past several years that the Pagan community is slowly becoming less sheepish, and secretive……and as part of their coming out, apparently, is breeding a thriving community of exactly all the things I hate. And it is frustrating, embarrassing, disappointing, and purely angering.
I’ve grown up my whole life having to learn how to cope, dodge, and overcome these exact same things – only from the outside. I was never a ‘normal’ child, as far as religious teachings go. My family is Irish – and country. Religion plays a -huge- factor in family, and life in general.
We were forced to go to church, and bible school. Even though I was too young to get it, really, even then I knew this wasn’t the place i was supposed to be. Of course, if you ask my mom – that’s not true. Children don’t think that way, I was too young to know what I was doing, or what I wanted.
Yes – partly – but there’s also that part of children that is just pure instincts, that people should absolutely listen to instead of just ignore it or shrug it off as ‘they’re just kids’. Children have more intuition than adults. And I just knew something wasn’t meshing right for me. Not in general – but for me.
My mother’s disbelief of that, and disapproval, is just one more stepping stone of life. I’ve been kicked out of places, called endless amounts of names, forced to remove jewelry or items of clothing, oppressed into not celebrating holidays, or singing certain songs, even was fired from a job. Religious discrimination ! you shout and scream, which yes. It is. But fighting it is a very different story. For those who are unfamiliar, the legal clause that protects religious freedoms and liberties are only applicable to those religions *federally recognized* as religious organizations. And guess whose religion is not federally recognized?
yup.
So, legally – it’s not religious discrimination at all, when what they are discriminating against *isn’t* a religion.
Bet ya didn’t know that. I didn’t either. Lots of what you think are you’re natural rights actually come with stipulations.
Even so recent as last holiday season, I was yelled at by one of my customers at work to turn off the music that was playing because it was “heathen” music and was shameful, offensive and inappropriate for the “Spirit and sanctity of the season”. The music that, just so happened to be playing on a random compilation played on ‘shuffle’ that she was referring to was celtic music. Not even celtic pagan music. Just regular ol’ – completely instrumental – celtic flutes, harp, fiddle and drums.
She refused to pay until I turned it off.
So after growing up, learning many hard life lessons of the world and how unequal it truely is; having to deal with all of this from the outside world, I sure as fuck don’t need to take it from my own people.
Or who *think* they’re my people.
It is hard living a life as I do, because I have learned over the years a very hard truth:
The Pagan Community is more hateful, judgmental, ignorant, and alienating than any outside source.
Because for people like me – not only are you generally looked over from the outside world because of the simple fact that you don’t fall into the 3 majorly accepted religions (or really, 2 accepted religions after 9/11) but you are also shunned from your fellows because you’re not the *right* kind of pagan.
Because, apparently, there are extremely strict guidelines of what it means to be a pagan these days – and if you happen to disagree with one of these “Facts” or do not support a widely praised, or followed networks – you are a fake. Or a pretender.
This is a lonely path. I knew that when I first fought my mom one Sunday morning, when I yelled at her that I didn’t want to go to church with Gramma anymore. I knew that when I started learning more and more of what actually *did* make sense to me. I knew that when I made the decission officially, and when I went behind my mom’s back to learn from my brothers – who supposedly didn’t exsist. It was ground into me even more when they had to leave, and I continued on my own – and opened even more doors that were even more guarded.
I knew what it meant.
I guess I just never thought it would be *completely* alone. I thought there would be someone to bump into somewhere down the road, and exchange scraps here and there and pass on to someone, or to receive from someone else, tid bits here and there of what they learned and what they knew, and could each take that back with us on our own way.
But no – it’s not like that at all, and not because it *has* to be like that, it’s like that just purely because of the complete utter closed-mindedness of the community…..that they are completely oblivious too, because of course, ask any pagan – they’ll slather you with how open, and enlightened they are towards all people…..
Sadly, it’s just a lie.