This is the time of year I get most offended…..by everyone….from all sides. And it seems to be coming full-force, a hell of a lot early this year (or at least, a more steady – constant stream of it this year)

Before I go on, I feel like I need to explain some things so I don’t sound like a complete ass, although it’s inevitable. 

I am a pagan. I’m not your run-o-the-mill umbrella term pagan, I am a very educated, self-aware, specific type of pagan. 

I am an Irish Celt (the pre-christian kind celt that is). I consider myself a traditionalist, in truth and sincere honesty. No – I am absolutely NOT a witch, and nothing related to. No – I am absolutely NOT a wiccan, and nothing whatsoever related to. No, I am not a Druid, because a druid is much more than just a believer. I am exactly what I said I am, and nothing different than that. And no, this is not open to your personal interpretation of semantics.

Why am I so specific about what *exact* type of pagan I am, and why do I follow a traditional path?

Because I am a pagan who hates pagans. 

In the sense that – I hate *neo* pagans, modern pagans, and the hodge-podge crap that has spewn forth from their ignorant creations. 

I am sick to death of giant umbrealla Pagan “denominations”, organizations or “covens” that think that if you happen to not be a christian, or happen to be some type of animist, or happen to believe in magick, that somehow that means you’re automatically a “pagan” and that somehow that means all pagans are the same, and interchangeable, and that ALSO means it’s synonimous with the words “wiccan” and “witch”.

I hate them for the same reason I hate these Decaturite busy bodies and moms. You’ll only get that if you live in Atlanta……..but if you live in Atlanta, and have ever made an expedition to Decatur and Buckhead to observe the horrible upper-middle class monstrousity of women (and sometimes men, but sadly mostly the women) then you know *exactly* what that means.

I hate ignorance, stupidity, lies and self-righteousness, no matter what form it comes in or from whom. I just. hate. them. 

Unfortunately, it’s been a growing trend -as far as I’ve been witnessing – over the past several years that the Pagan community is slowly becoming less sheepish, and secretive……and as part of their coming out, apparently, is breeding a thriving community of exactly all the things I hate.  And it is frustrating, embarrassing, disappointing, and purely angering. 

I’ve grown up my whole life having to learn how to cope, dodge, and overcome these exact same things – only from the outside. I was never a ‘normal’ child, as far as religious teachings go. My family is Irish – and country. Religion plays a -huge- factor in family, and life in general. 

We were forced to go to church, and bible school. Even though I was too young to get it, really, even then I knew this wasn’t the place i was supposed to be. Of course, if you ask my mom – that’s not true. Children don’t think that way, I was too young to know what I was doing, or what I wanted. 

Yes – partly – but there’s also that part of children that is just pure instincts, that people should absolutely listen to instead of just ignore it or shrug it off as ‘they’re just kids’. Children have more intuition than adults. And I just knew something wasn’t meshing right for me. Not in general – but for me. 

My mother’s disbelief of that, and disapproval, is just one more stepping stone of life. I’ve been kicked out of places, called endless amounts of names, forced to remove jewelry or items of clothing, oppressed into not celebrating holidays, or singing certain songs, even was fired from a job.  Religious discrimination ! you shout and scream, which yes. It is. But fighting it is a very different story. For those who are unfamiliar, the legal clause that protects religious freedoms and liberties are only applicable to those religions *federally recognized* as religious organizations. And guess whose religion is not federally recognized?

yup.

So, legally – it’s not religious discrimination at all, when what they are discriminating against *isn’t* a religion.

Bet ya didn’t know that.  I didn’t either. Lots of what you think are you’re natural rights actually come with stipulations. 

Even so recent as last holiday season, I was yelled at by one of my customers at work to turn off the music that was playing because it was “heathen” music and was shameful, offensive and inappropriate for the “Spirit and sanctity of the season”.  The music that, just so happened to be playing on a random compilation played on ‘shuffle’ that she was referring to was celtic music. Not even celtic pagan music. Just regular ol’ – completely instrumental – celtic flutes, harp, fiddle and drums.

She refused to pay until I turned it off. 

So after growing up, learning many hard life lessons of the world and how unequal it truely is; having to deal with all of this from the outside world, I sure as fuck don’t need to take it from my own people. 

Or who *think* they’re my people.

It is hard living a life as I do, because I have learned over the years a very hard truth:

The Pagan Community is more hateful, judgmental, ignorant, and alienating than any outside source. 

Because for people like me – not only are you generally looked over from the outside world because of the simple fact that you don’t fall into the 3 majorly accepted religions (or really, 2 accepted religions after 9/11) but you are also shunned from your fellows because you’re not the *right* kind of pagan. 

Because, apparently, there are extremely strict guidelines of what it means to be a pagan these days – and if you happen to disagree with one of these “Facts” or do not support a widely praised, or followed networks – you are a fake. Or a pretender. 

This is a lonely path. I knew that when I first fought my mom one Sunday morning, when I yelled at her that I didn’t want to go to church with Gramma anymore. I knew that when I started learning more and more of what actually *did* make sense to me. I knew that when I made the decission officially, and when I went behind my mom’s back to learn from my brothers – who supposedly didn’t exsist. It was ground into me even more when they had to leave, and I continued on my own – and opened even more doors that were even more guarded.

I knew what it meant.

I guess I just never thought it would be *completely* alone. I thought there would be someone to bump into somewhere down the road, and exchange scraps here and there and pass on to someone, or to receive from someone else, tid bits here and there of what they learned and what they knew, and could each take that back with us on our own way. 

But no – it’s not like that at all, and not because it *has* to be like that, it’s like that just purely because of the complete utter closed-mindedness of the community…..that they are completely oblivious too, because of course, ask any pagan – they’ll slather you with how open, and enlightened they are towards all people…..

Sadly, it’s just a lie.