Tag Archives: respect

I am not a feminist.

I am not a feminist because I do not take sides. I am not going to endorse one whole group vs. any other group.
I am not going to pitch myself against any whole.
I believe in equality not special treatment, meaning I do not need to join a movement for the goodness of only one group, as I am not for any one group – I am for all groups.

I come from a culture where women have ALWAYS been strong, and badass, and capable, and equal to all others.
Where you
earn your place and respect. Where if you want something, you dedicate yourself, and you learn, and you struggle, and you WORK to make it happen – not whine and gripe and pitch a hissy-fit behind a picket line. What good does that do? What are you proving to anyone? That you can scream the loudest? That you are more nagging and obnoxious than the next picket line?
Congratulations.
That’s an honour I can suffer without.

I come from a culture where if you act like a piece of shit, you are treated like a piece of shit – if you act like a badass, you are treated like a badass. And that goes for EVERYONE and ANYONE, man, woman, child, olde, new, or prime. ANYONE. Where you are the product of the consequences of your actions, good or bad, where slaves can rise to become kings, and kings can fall to be slaves because EVERYONE has the exact same chance as the next, but once you earn your place – that’s it, you’ve earned it. So if you are disatisfied with it, YOU change it. Not yell at others to change the way the rest of them work for your own lazy betterment – but YOU put up the effort to change YOU to make your own situation better.

I walked into a job and got paid MORE than the MAN I was hired to replace.
Why?
Because I am the shit. That’s why. Because I am dedicated, because I am loyal, because I am too damn stubborn to ever give up, because I know how to take criticism, because I know how to learn from my mistakes, because I have a work ethic that is, frankly, unseen in these days. Becasue I make it to where others can’t do anything but respect me, because my actions command respect.
Command.
NOT demand. There is a gravely significant difference between those two words, that is often confused, or people are just ignorant to these days.

I have a friend who just recently nailed her job offer – making the same amount as a male counterpart who was technically hired before her, at a higher level of education and certification, and should, by all reasonable means, make more than she does because of seniority both in length of time there, and level of education. But she landed an offer making *the exact same amount he does*. There is also much mroe to that offer that I can’t discuss here because it is priviledge information, and SHE got it. Not him.
Why?
Because she is the shit.
Because she took the opportunity seriously, and busted ass, and put in the effort, and showed dedication and loyalty and responsibility. Because she went above and beyond the call of duty and showed that she was an invaluable member of the team, and would only be an asset to the growth of the company and that she was an absolute badass.
Because her actions commanded it to be so.

And guess what? We are LOVED by our colleagues. We are not called bossy, or bitchy, or anything negative that feminist propoganda would have you believed, because, again, we commanded it, not demanded it. Those who have to get “bitchy” to get respect have not earned it – and they don’t have respect, they have intimidation. They have fear. They have control over others. Which is still effective, but very, very different.

And that is only two examples, from just one tiny little anectdote. Think of how many other cases out there are like ours? You simply hear less about us, as women – PEOPLE – in out position don’t generally need to flaunt it, because, generally, people in our position on strong, confident secure individuals who do not need the notoriety to qualify themselves. The ones in offense, the weak, the insecure, the ones without conviction tend to be the ones who scream the loudest, because maybe if they are loud enough, they can convince themselves it is true along with everyone else.